It's Official + some parenting thoughts

"Who needs sleep when we've got love?"

--Jack Johnson, Sleep Through the Static

Jenna and Lucy set some New Years Resolutions. Among the list ("fill out my clothes", "say 'ahhhh' more", "really curb my spit up problem this year"...) was "sleep through the night."

I'm proud to announce on their behalf that they have accomplished this resolution every night since New Years Day! This is a great day for goal setters and parents alike.

I've been getting seven to eight uninterrupted hours of sleep--it has to have been MONTHS since that last happened (before babies it was bladder). Just imagine what kind of person I can be with sleep??

Those little toes...

Thank you Jessie (my friend who had twins last summer) for introducing me to Babywise (and Les for fishing your copy out of the D.I. pile to let me have). For me, this system has worked wonders. It's made parenting (dare I say?) easy. It's made parenting twins doable. It's made my life balanced.

And while I'm on the subject, here are some of MY thoughts on parenting and parenting twins (take it for what it's worth, it's probably different then how some of you feel, but this is my blog/journal and this is how I feel today):

• When I was pregnant, people kept telling us how horrible it is and how HARD it is. They kept saying, "it's so intense with just one baby and you're so relieved when they finally close their eyes. I just don't know how you're going to do it with TWO." At the time this really irked the spunk in me and I'd reply with, "What choice do we have at this point? Send one back? You don't know how we're going to do it, well let me tell you, we're just going to DO it." Because of a hundred conversations like this I think I was really expecting this to be absolutely awful and was so pleasently surprised that it's not. Why didn't people talk more about how great it is? Sure they cry. Sure you don't sleep as much. Sure sometimes you get peed on. Sure you're busy taking care of them all day. But it's not like it's impossible. And there are so many GREAT moments that completely make up for it. We keep waiting to see the "awfulness" hit and it just hasn't yet. We love being parents.

• I feel like the transition to motherhood was smooth for me because I felt so ready for it. I had graduated college, I was working full time, I was 27--I was okay with responsibility. I was used to being pretty busy all day. I was stable in a great marriage with a strong partner who had a good job and we had a home. This was an okay step for us to take. It was where I WANTED to devote my time and energy and because of that it brings the fulfillment I expected it to. I love this gig.

• A lot of people have said, "I know EXACTLY what you're going through with twins because I had kids 16 (or 18) months apart." Or something like that. I'm sorry to say this, but it's not EXACTLY the same. Sure having kids that close together comes with its own challenges (and props to anyone who handles that), but it's not the same as having your kids two at once. It's different when one of your kids can walk. It's different when you've had 18 months to adjust to being parents before a second one comes. It's different when one doesn't eat as often or need to be changed as often. It's different when your kids are going to have different birthdays and be in different grades in school. Their might be some similarities, but it's not the same thing.

• I've read in books (and heard from people) that with twins you'll be so sleep-deprived and stressed out that the first year will be miserable. You won't have a single moment to yourself. I have found all of this to be untrue. I actually have lots of time for myself (something else Jessie told me that brought comfort while I was pregnant). It comes in short chunks right now in between feedings (as does what can come out of a baby's mouth after feedings), but it's there. It's forced me to be more organized with my time so I can get things done that I want to ,which I've decided is a great thing. I made up a schedule of what I want to accomplish each day--one chore (laundry, bathrooms, vacuuming, etc) and one project (blogging, organizing, art, etc) and then I fit those in between feedings and meals and exercise. It's been great. I assume I'll have to keep adjusting my schedule as the girls get older and their needs/schedule changes, but I think it's still doable. I think it's just a matter of planning.

• It's pretty rare that both babies cry at once. It's pretty rare that either baby cries at all. Another benefit of keeping on such a good schedule (Babywise) is that so many of their needs are met that they really don't have a need to cry. They know when they eat and when they get changed and when they sleep so there's not a lot of crying to trigger these things because by the time they think about it, it's already been taken care of. They do fuss sometimes when they lay down for some of their naps (not every time and not the same twin). But I've learned their patterns and so I know when to let them cry (three minutes might seem like an eternity, but they cry for three minutes and then they're fine-- way better then picking them up constantly and them crying every time you try to lay them down) and when it's something different. Having two at once has made me not afraid of hearing a baby cry. Sometimes I am changing one and can't get to the other one or something like that and they just have to wait a minute. They're always okay. And I've been blessed with a calmness in those moments (thank you, Heavenly Father, I know that's You) so it doesn't stress me out. So instead we sing or I talk to them across the room and they usually calm down.

• You can breastfeed two babies at once. It's actually pretty easy and much more convenient than feeding them seperately or feeding them both bottles every time (one person feeding two babies bottles is much trickier we've learned).

• Something happened when I became a mother. As my children were trying to do anything (especially if they were struggling) I found myself talking them through it and encouraging them. I was amazed to find that they followed whatever instructions I was giving them and it calmed them down. Not only did I find myself instructing them, but I found myself building them up as well ("You know how to fall asleep, you can do this. Just close your eyes and take deep breaths. You're so good at sleeping"). Call me crazy, but I think their little spirits can hear me and can understand what I'm saying as they try to learn how to be in this new body of theirs. It's been cool to watch. And I love building them up as much as I can and helping them believe that they can do anything. They can.

• Having two at once is nice for first time parents because we always have another baby to compare to that's exactly the same age. We've learned what things to worry about and not worry about based on if they're both doing it or not.

• When people ask us how are babies are and we say "Good. They eat at the same time and sleep really well" and people respond with, "Oh, you must've just gotten some easy babies!" it makes me want to laugh. Really? You think that's it? We just magically got not one, but TWO easy babies that don't cry and are perfect? No, no, no my friends. I'm sure there are lots of things that contribute to this, but two stick out in my mind. 1. The Routine. It really makes all the difference to have them not only on a schedule, but on the same schedule. Otherwise I'd be feeding them whenever either baby fussed which probably would be all day. Of course I'd go crazy. Having a schedule helps us know what to expect and then plan around it. It's no surprise when I'll be feeding them because it's like clock work (literally). Knowing that allows me to work around it and do other things I want/need to do. Life's still okay. 2. Attitude. People ask the question. Think of all the answers we could give? "Oh, it's so hard that there are TWO of them. We go through TWICE as many diapers and it's hard to hold both of them at the same time when they fuss and going anywhere is so complex with two carseats..." There are several answers that could paint some pretty bleak pictures. But why on earth would we focus on that? I love looking at this chapter as such a wonderful gift and one that I will miss later when my kids are grown and old. I GET to hold two little babies that still like to snuggle into my shoulder--how could life get better? So by no means assume that our life is perfect and void of problems. But I'm making the conscious choice to focus on the positive. The more I do that, the more positive life becomes. (Case in point: Adam. Dear Joe, Adam's probably not as perfect as I paint him out to be on the blog. But the more I focus on his positive strengths and celebrate those, the better and better he becomes. Sorry, Joe, scratch that. He is pretty perfect. I guess the husband bar will remain as high as he sets it).

• All of this being said, Lucy and Jenna really are great babies. The routine would never work if they weren't so wonderful to begin with. On top of that, Adam and I pray everyday with gratitude that our girls are healthy. Illnesses and medical conditions would of course add so much stress to parenting and we're so grateful neither girl is going through anything right now.

So, those are some thoughts for today. Being a newly fresh eight-week old mother I know I've got a lot to learn and that my ideas and opinions will probably change along the way. But I like believing the best about my children and about my role as a mother. I hope that never changes.